How To Enjoy A Holiday Dinner Without Guilt
What is guilt?
Guilt is the feeling someone has when they believe they have done something wrong, like stealing or hurting someone, being rude or lying. And these are all appropriate behaviors to feel guilty about. However it’s important to note that you are not born knowing these behaviors are wrong. You’re not born knowing that you should feel guilty about doing the wrong thing, or what the wrong thing even is.
Guilt is something that is taught to you.
The only way we know right from wrong is because it has been taught to us. Whether it be from a parent or guardian or even a teacher, behaviors of feeling guilt towards a certain action is taught. This is often due to being told your behavior was good and being rewarded for said good behavior, or being told a behavior was bad or wrong and there being consequences. The beliefs that you hold now have been instilled in you from a young age, and you often carry them with you through life.
DOWNLOAD MY FREE E-BOOK FOR MORE WELLNESS & NUTRITION TIPS!
What is food guilt?
The same right and wrong beliefs are also taught in regard to certain eating habits. A lot of us grew up with the knowledge that certain foods are either good or bad. This message that food can either be good or bad typically has the worst affect on young children whose parents or relatives engage in dieting and disordered eating. Those children have instilled mindsets from a young age that certain foods are bad, and eating those bad foods would be a behavior similar to stealing or lying, and thus causing them to feel guilty.
For example, if a parent keeps restricting sweets and tells the child it is unhealthy and they should not be eating it, the child learns that eating sweets is wrong, and the natural reaction is to feed bad about it. And guilt then sinks in.
The point is, just as guilt is taught, so is food guilt. When you feel food guilt it means you believe you are doing something wrong, you are breaking a food rule you have.
4 tips to enjoy a holiday dinner without food guilt
Holiday dinners can often bring up feelings of fear or uncertainty for some people. This can be due to a variety of reasons, food related or not, but for some those feelings stem from feeling guilt about eating a holiday dinner. The holidays are about the feeling of connection, and food often helps us feel connected to one another during the holiday.
So here are a few tips on how to navigate a holiday meal while feeling confident and powered, so that you are able to enjoy your meal without guilt:
1.Prepare
If you are going to a restaurant or going to a friend’s house, if you are not in control of what is going to be served then the first tip is to find out what the menu will be for the holiday dinner. Don’t worry about being too pushy or coming across as being too controlling because at the end of the day, you are in control and are responsible for your needs, your comfort and your safety. And if you want to design your day around what the meal is going to be for the holiday dinner then you have every right to do that.
Any type of food sensitivity or any diet plan you may have is often the first step that is overlooked, and this can often bring the feelings or emotions that would lead you into any type of binge or food guilt session. Any abandonment of your food goals is often caused because you are surprised or caught off guard. So by preparing yourself, by knowing what is going to be served, you can figure out how you are going to fit that into your individual needs.
2.Don’t show up hungry
The second tip is not to show up to the holiday meal hungry. Sometimes on the day of a holiday meal, we might not eat a big breakfast or lunch so that we can save room for the many different foods that are going to be at the holiday meal. However, you want to make sure that you have at least 4-6 ounces of protein before the holiday meal that day as well as at least 24 ounces of water. This is to make sure you’re not dehydrated and so that you have some satisfying protein before the meal.
3.Prep changes are okay
The third tip is to not be afraid for asking for prep changes surrounding the holiday meal. This typically applies to if you are not in control of the menu, like being at a friends house or being out at a restaurant. Don’t be afraid to ask to have a portion of vegetables that have sauce on the side or a salad that has the dressing on the side. The same goes for asking for vegetables that are steamed or asking for vegetables that don’t have any sauté on them, if that’s what comfortable for you.
It’s important to really believe that the people you are surrounding yourself with for this holiday meal are excited to help make you feel good and want to help make you feel comfortable. The belief that people want to make us feel good and comfortable around them is something that is important to cultivate. So don’t be afraid to ask for certain prep changes if that’s what is going to make you feel more comfortable.
4.Create one plate
The final tip is when you are starting to sit down and get ready for dinner, instead of taking a little bit from one dish and then going back up for a little bit from a different dish, decide what you want and create one plate. When you are up to get food for the first time, look at the entire table in front of you and at all of the food that is being offered there. Decide from those options what it is that you want to put on your plate and allow yourself the correct portion sizes of each of the foods you want.
Proteins would be about 4-5 ounces. Starches would be about 1/2 cup. Vegetables would be about a cup if they are non-starchy and light on the oil or dressing, or greens.
You want to create a plate that is abundant and filling, and return to your seat to eat it slowly and mindfully, really savoring each bite. And if after you finish that plate you have the urge to go back for seconds, first drink 16 ounces of water. If you still want to go back for seconds after drinking the water, pick one thing from the table that you want as seconds.
While you most likely aren’t really hungry for seconds, and it’s more of an emotional thing, it’s okay that you go back for seconds during a holiday dinner because it’s a celebratory time. So pick one thing, give yourself the correct portion size, and savor it.
Lifestyles that are more susceptible to food guilt
While anyone can be susceptible to experiencing food guilt, there are certain lifestyles that are more likely to attract this feeling. Once you recognize that you fall within one of these lifestyles, you will be one step closer to taking control and starting your wellness journey. However if you don’t relate with one of these lifestyles, and still find yourself experiencing food guilt, it does not mean that you still can’t take control.
Eating disorders
Those who have experience with eating disorders, like binge eating or emotional eating, are more likely to be susceptible to experiencing food guilt. Someone who is experiencing or has had experience with an eating disorder typically struggles with food more than someone who does not have an eating disorder. This type of lifestyle might be familiar with food guilt because binge eaters and emotional eaters often feel guilty after they have gone through a binge eating cycle, and this often leads to another binge.
what can be done
When you are going up to make your plate for the first time, make sure you carefully look at all that is being offered. It’s better to take the correct portion sizes of a variety of foods than to take a helping one at a time.
Poor food mindset
Those who have a poor food mindset, or who have a negative mindset associated with food, are more likely to be susceptible to experiencing food guilt. Someone who has a poor food mindset might label the food they eat as either good or bad, or healthy or junk. They might also associate themselves as bad or junk when they eat the foods they labeled as such. This type of lifestyle might be familiar with food guilt because if they allow themselves to eat that bad or junk food, they may feel guilt towards allowing themself to be bad or junk.
what can be done
Try not to associate food as being either good or bad because food is food. Instead of referring to your food bad or junk, try calling it by its name. So instead of calling a Holiday dessert bad food, just call it by its name. Then once there is no label associate with that food, you might feel less guilt about eating it.
Food anxiety
Those who have food anxiety, or find themselves nervous around or just thinking about food, are more likely to be susceptible to experiencing food guilt. Someone who has food anxiety might not let themself eat certain foods, whether they believe it’s because the food is bad or if they have a troubled past with that food. This type of lifestyle might be familiar with food guilt because when they allow themself to eat the food they deprive themselves of, this often causes feelings of guilt.
what can be done
If you are not hosting the holiday dinner, don’t be afraid to call whomever is hosting it and ask what it going to be on the menu either the day of or the day before. This will calm your food anxiety a bit, and you will be prepared for what food is being offered.
*********
Holiday meals are all about preparation, accountability, and some discipline. But holiday meals are also about savoring and enjoyment, and it’s important not to forget that piece. We also want to feel that savoring and enjoyment the next day as well though. Through following these tips for navigating through holiday dinner food guilt, we can continue to nourish ourselves moving forward.
Extra tips to avoid food guilt
Intuitive eating. By practicing intuitive eating, you can clear yourself of any stress or anxiety surrounding the food you’re eating. This in turn will make you enjoy the food and the people you’re with.
Mindful eating. Try practicing mindful eating when you are experiencing food guilt by savoring the food you are eating.
Use a food journal to track what meals or which foods trigger your guilt to figure out where to start.
