The Root of Compulsive Eating
What is Compulsive Eating?
Compulsive eating is typically used to describe frequent episodes of uncontrollable eating, where a person continues to eat food long after they feel full and sometimes to the point of feeling sick. People who engage in compulsive eating usually feel out of control, and may be aware that their eating patterns are not normal. They may even be using food as their only way of coping with negative emotions.
Many think if they could just control their food intake, they would feel better, and often blame themselves harshly when they are unable to control themselves. This might cause them to become even more restrictive with their food, and unfortunately the more we try to control food, the more food starts to control us. It then becomes difficult to end this restrict-binge-shame cycle.
However just because something is difficult, doesn’t mean it’s impossible. You can break the seemingly endless compulsive eating cycle once you realize what the root cause of your compulsive eating is. Before you get to the root of the problem though, it may be important to identify the general signs and causes of compulsive eating first.
Symptoms
Eating faster than usual
Eating past the point of fullness
Eating when not physically hungry
Eating alone or in secret
Feeling upset or guilty after overeating
Feeling that you are abnormal
Feeling “taken over” or “driven” as if by an other presence in respect of eating
While the symptoms for compulsive eating may seem almost identical in the description of symptoms expressed by people who struggle binge eating, there is a notable difference between the two.
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Compulsive eating vs. binge eating
Binge eating is recurring episodes of eating significant amounts of food in a short period of time, often while feeling a of lack of control. Compulsive eating, on the other hand, is the intense urge or compulsion to consume large amounts of food in a relatively short period of time every once in a while.
When comparing binge eating and compulsive eating, even though both may involve eating in reaction to certain feelings (emotional eating) it’s important to know that not everyone who overeats suffers from binge eating. Hence, this is why it is essential to recognize that the two, while very similar, are in fact different.
What causes compulsive eating
When it comes to compulsive eating, the factors behind the root cause could be any or all of the following:
Loss-of-control eating behaviors
Eating out of boredom
Eating out of a mindless habit
A coping mechanism
More often than not, many individuals use compulsive eating as a coping mechanism to avoid underlying feelings or emotional issues. These underlying feelings can either relate to stress or feeling upset, or anything in between. However there is one feeling that tends to be the root cause for the compulsive eating habits of many, and that is loneliness.
The feeling of loneliness is one of the root feelings to compulsive eating, and that often leads to habits which end up hijacking our wellness goals.
Loneliness as a feeling & experience
Loneliness has been described in many different ways over the course of time. Such definitions range from being a state of solitude or being alone, to feeling sad and unhappy about being socially isolated. More often than not, loneliness is associated with negative feelings. Because when you say ‘I fear loneliness’, that feeling of fear of being lonely, or what you think loneliness is, is what loneliness is going to be for you. Often times we fear that loneliness is going to mean that we are not worthy or that we will be alone. These feelings of unworthiness and negativity caused by loneliness, is what makes loneliness one of the root feelings that leads to compulsive eating.
However there is another way we can view loneliness so that it doesn’t feel like something that you have to avoid, and you can instead avoid your compulsive eating. Because the truth is that while loneliness is a feeling, it is also a certain experience.
Loneliness as an experience
When we start to feel loneliness, we have a choice. We can either see loneliness as that negative feeling of being socially isolated and force ourselves to avoid it, or we can embrace loneliness as an experience of being by ourself. Moreover, once you decide on how you are going to approach your loneliness, you then decide how you are going to feel about the experience.
What can be done
When you feel loneliness first start to arise, begin by acknowledging it and then try to treat it as an experience, not a feeling. It may even help to say the following out loud, in order to bring acknowledgement and then power over loneliness.
“Loneliness is here for me to experience”
“My impulse is to feel scared, but there is nothing to be afraid of”
“Loneliness feels spacious”
Announcing loneliness and recognizing that it is present is imperative so that you don’t immediately go into a depressive state, which will then end up overshadowing the fear of loneliness completely. So we can pivot around this fear by calling loneliness a spacious experience instead of a feeling of emptiness. And this then leads to the opportunity of allowing yourself to become more grounded, and to connect more with yourself.
Lifestyles more susceptible to Loneliness and Compulsive Eating
While anyone can be susceptible to loneliness, and loneliness is not the only cause of compulsive eating, there are certain lifestyles that attract both loneliness and compulsive eating.
Working remotely
Since COVID began in March, many individuals have been assigned to work remotely from home instead of going into their office. While some may find this new arrangement to be a dream come true, others may have found it as an arrangement for compulsive eating and loneliness. Being in your house or apartment all day and night, not being around your coworkers like you used to be, is the perfect breeding ground for loneliness if you allow it to be. And being surrounded by an endless supply of food or Grubhub from working at home all day, could lead you to compulsively eat.
what you can do instead
If your company is allowing their employees to go back into work, take advantage of it. And while most of us may not have a choice to go back, we can still take advantage of getting out of the house. Try going to a Starbucks for a few hours during your work day, or try going to a local library if you need a quieter place to work. Try to use your ‘lunch break’ as an hour to connect with someone, by either going for a walk or meeting up with a friend or loved one, to get out of the house for a bit.
Restrictive diets
Diets that limit the amount or types of food you can eat are more likely to cause compulsive eating habits, compared to non-restrictive diets or not dieting all together. Restrictive dieting can be especially hard if you use food as a coping tool. Restrictive diets can also cause loneliness if you are the only one doing it; whether in a relationship or within your circle of friends. Eventually, you hit a breaking point and binge on forbidden foods, and then the guilt and shame set in, and the restrictions begin again.
What you can do instead
If you want to start a diet, don’t restrict yourself of all the foods you consider forbidden or bad. Try instead to cut them out slowly, one at a time, while still allowing yourself to have a cheat day if you feel like having one. This will lessen the chance of your diet ending in compulsive eating, and can lessen the likeliness of your diet causing you to feel lonely while you’re out eating with someone.
Other loneliness/compulsive eating lifestyles
Life transitions (moving, changing jobs, losing a loved one)
Psychological factors (anxiety, depression, low self-esteem)
Age (teens and young adults are more susceptible, though it can happen at any age)
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Once you reframe your fear of loneliness and begin to see that loneliness is an opportunity that the universe is giving you, is when you become more deeply connected to yourself. And that deep connection you’ve made with yourself will then attract a more real connection from a place of abundance.
Extra tips for Compulsive Eating
Enjoy cravings in moderation
Banning yourself from eating certain foods can cause you to overeat them later on. If you’re really craving something, even if you might not be hungry, give yourself permission to have a small amount.
Change your environment
Making a tweak to your environment can return your focus to your behavior and give you a chance to make a more purposeful decision when it comes to food. If you always sit in a certain chair to eat, move it to a different place in the room or sit somewhere else entirely.
Take a step back
Sometimes we get so focused on what we want to eat, that we don’t stop and ask ourselves why it is we want to eat. It’s important to bring your awareness back to your body, because you may be out of touch with the cues that signal hunger or fullness. If you feel like eating, pause for a moment and ask yourself, “Am I physically hungry?”
